This is a reply to a letter sent from Pablo to ButtMagazine. (If you go there, please remember that Butt is not safe for work or church and contain nudity) The Letter, it mainly concern the issue “I don’t cum during sex and I hate it”. You can read the answer from Butt, and you can read all the comments from different Buttheads to Pablo. I answered shortly some days ago, but the questions in my head wouldn’t go to rest. So, here’s a longer answer.

Dear Pablo. There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with your boyfriend, and there is certainly nothing wrong with your relationship – or at least so I take it, you guys share both love and sex. You are indeed able to cum when you jack off. A lot of guys wrote “change the boyfriend” and I don’t think that will solve anything. Others wrote “I don’t cum either” – so as you can see – you are not alone not to cum from penetrating sex. So what makes you want to ejaculate, perhaps you confuse ejaculation with orgasm? Orgasm can come before, during or after the cum. If at all that is. Some men cum but don’t ever orgasm. Most men probably don’t even know the difference. They don’t even realize there is a difference. To cum can be great, but to orgasm is better, so you should go for that instead.

So, keep fucking, keep jacking, try to ease down a bit, enjoy sex, if it feels good it IS good, remember that. But it is perhaps best to work on the guilt issue first, guilt and sex don’t mix well. And I still think that the actual cum is not an important part of sex (unless you are trying to make babies). If you feel it is important you have probably learnt so from porn (perhaps even straight porn which often is very focused on the male ejaculation), or from how sex and sexuality is described in media, society and even amongst friends or fantasies online, and not from your own experience. On online gay communities it seems to be high fashion to dream about the seed me breed me gang bang porn sex that perhaps is one of our most forbidden fantasies as it in real life comes with the risk of std’s and aids. But I do hope your boyfriend doesn’t blame you for not cumming when you top him or he tops you, if it feels good doing it, it is good sex anyways.